just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
