what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
