): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
