All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
