Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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