it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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