Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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