You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
