haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
