I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He did a backflip because drugs
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
