Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
