Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
