i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize