community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
