So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
