Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
