i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You were trust falling into bushes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I had to cum in my sink.
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