he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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