Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize