also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
