No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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