Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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