I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
