after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
