Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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