I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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