I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
