This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
