Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
