in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
