she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
