I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
