I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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