He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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