That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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