the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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