Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
