Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
