Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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