Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
