it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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