I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You took a bar mat shot.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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