i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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