At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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