dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
