Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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