I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize