You're completely useless in the revolution.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize