No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
