I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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