So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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