I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
