I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize