Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
