Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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