It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
