just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
