Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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