i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
be right there i have to get my cape
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
