Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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