I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
