did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
