Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
