I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
