White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
