he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
