What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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