Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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