I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize